


New Phone, Just Vibing

by metalstraws



Category: Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Fluff, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, and i had some Thoughts, i saw a tweet, i think???, ignis thinks this is the funniest thing in the world, prompto learns to never let noctis make any sort of decisions for him ever again, so of course this had to happen, yall im so bad at tagging this is just NONSENSE, you guys know i cannot tag to save my LIFE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:55:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25965457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/metalstraws/pseuds/metalstraws
Summary: Ignis helps Prompto set up his new phone, but Prompto can't remember the password to his email address. Consequently, he needs to know his password to change it, and so he has to enlist the help of a poor customer service representative.ORtwitter user @lesbiansforlwj tweeted 'the hot new fandom question is: who in your otp is 'fuckmyslutmouth16@gmail.com' and who is 'staring silently at them from the other side of the couch whilst they explain this to the poor customer service representative''And I just... had to do something with that
Relationships: Prompto Argentum/Ignis Scientia
Comments: 15
Kudos: 64





	New Phone, Just Vibing

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so most of this happened to me a few weeks ago, sans embarrassing email address, but also I had a phone that was missing chunks of the screen and the battery overheated and melted the inside of the screen?? I've been through some phones, y'all, it's kinda fuckin sad. 
> 
> ANYWAYS this isn't beta-read as usual! I feel nothing! I was h*gh as f*ck when i wrote this also so enjoy it!!!!!! Or don't, I literally feel nothing. 
> 
> BTW - i made a twitter haha it's @StrawsMetal if you're trying to mingle or whatever l o l

Prompto all but runs into the apartment, excited to finally get his new phone all set up and ready to go. He hasn't bought a new one in years, probably since freshman year, and his old one had finally bit the dust this morning. The screen was falling out in some places - he didn't believe in glass screen protectors - and the headphone jack was so busted that it only played half the audio on one side if he was lucky. But it did its job of sending and receiving calls and texts, so he pushed it to its last legs. His alarm didn't go off this morning, and that's when he knew something was wrong. The screen was showing a series of greens and blues, and wasn't responding to any buttons or touches to the screen, and he knew it was time to say goodbye to his trusty old phone and upgrade. After all, an overheated battery melting the inside of a screen is as good an indication as any that some things aren't worth salvaging.

Noctis went with him, of course, to strong arm his friend into getting a case for the thing at the very least, so that maybe this one would last a bit longer. And hey, if anything happened to the phone in the case, the company would replace it, so it was sort of worth it. 

That said, Prompto now has his fancy new phone, still in its box, just waiting to be booted up and set up and played on until he was used to having the latest tech once again. 

"Iggy, I'm home!" He calls, toeing off his shoes and pulling on his house slippers. 

He follows the smell of spices to the kitchen where his boyfriend is standing at the stove, stirring something in a pot idly. He turns when he hears the rustle of the plastic bag, offering a familiar smile to his partner. 

"Welcome home, darling." And Ignis crosses the kitchen to pull Prompto into a loose embrace, lips pressing against his forehead. "Did you have a good day with Noct?" 

Prompto nods. "Mhm! Gonna set up my new phone, probably. Dinner almost ready?" 

"Indeed. Should only be a few minutes longer for the sauce to thicken, but I'll call you when it's done." 

And Prompto finds himself, a few moments later, curled up on the couch with his new phone held gingerly in his hands like it'll break if he breathes the wrong way. He's used to having a phone so busted that an accidental punt across the training hall at the Citadel means nothing to him. This is going to be a whole new experience, though, and he's incredibly grateful that he let his friend talk him into getting one of those indestructible phone cases for it. 

It also means that, as Prompto is setting up his apps, he finds himself forgetting his login for his music streaming subscription. Naturally, he sends a password reset link to his email, which he then remembers he needs to sign in to anyways, and he sets to downloading his mail app and logging in. 

Or, rather, he attempts to log in to his email. See, the issue with having the same phone for over five years is that you never have to log in to anything once you're in. And the issue with getting a new phone is that your passwords don't transfer over. 

Thus, Prompto finds himself locked out of most of his social media, his music streaming app, and his email in one fell swoop. The easy solution would be to get a password reset code sent to his phone, but this new model isn't registered with his Gmail account, so it's saying that his phone - the old model - is unavailable. 

Ignis comes in once the dread sets in, setting a bowl of curry on the coffee table for his boyfriend, who looks up at him like he's just seen a ghost. 

"Is... everything alright?" 

"Iggy, I fucked up." Is the only solution Prompto offers for a moment before he's tapping furiously on his new phone screen. "I'm locked out of my email and I can't remember any of my logins so I can't get into anything!" 

And Ignis shakes his head. "Well you only need to call customer service to get into your account, no?" 

"No, Iggy, you don't understand, I can't do that." Prompto shakes his head this time, still looking pale and frightened.

"May I ask _why_ on Eos you cannot call customer service?" 

The blonde curled up on the sofa looks at him for a long moment before he sighs. "It's - _my email_." 

"Well, yes, I should hope that it is _your_ email." Ignis looks at him quizzically. Prompto isn't making any sense. 

"No, no, you don't get it. My email is - well, okay. First of all, let me just say that Noct made the account for me when we were in high school." Ignis nods, urging him to continue because he is absolutely lost. "It's, um... well, it's, uh 'fuckmyslutmouth16'. So... there is that." 

Ignis stares at him for a moment longer before he drops his head into his hands, elbows braced on his knees and Prompto isn't sure whether his boyfriend is laughing or crying or praying for strength or what, but he knows that Ignis holds that form for almost a solid minute before he looks back up at Prompto, decidedly more tired looking than a few minutes ago. 

"Why on Eos would you do that to yourself?" 

"Hey! I told you it was Noct's idea!" The blonde protests. 

"Yes, and I see that never once in your young adult life did you decide that perhaps it would be best to retire that email account." 

"Well... when you put it that way..." 

Ignis grabs his bowl of curry and sits back on the couch, getting comfortable. "Well, don't let me stop you. You have to get into that account somehow, no? I trust you're able to find a customer service number?" 

Prompto stares at him. Hard. Probably for a few too many moments. "Fuck me _running_." He sighs and looks up the number, setting the phone to speaker because who just talks on the phone anymore? 

The line rings for a few seconds and after selecting a few numbers on the dial pad, he's directed to someone who can help him with his problems. 

"Thank you for calling, how can I help you this evening?" The man on the other end of the line asks, sounding bored out of his absolute mind. 

"H-hey, um, so I just got a new phone and I can't get into my, um, email." Prompto is red as a tomato, not looking at Ignis and instead focusing on the art above the fireplace, not that he's ever paid it much attention before. "So, I was hoping you could help me with that?" 

"I certainly can. May I have your email address please?" 

"It's um... well." Prompto clears his throat. "It's 'fuckmyslutmouth16'. That's, uh, sixteen as in 'one six' not 'six zero', by the way." 

The line is quiet for a moment and when the man on the other end speaks again, Ignis can hear him holding back laughter. "C-could you repeat that for me, please, sir?" 

"It's - _fucking shit_ \- it's 'fuckmyslutmouth16'." Prompto says a little more clearly this time. "I can, like, answer any privacy questions or whatever you need, I just would _love_ for this conversation to be over as fast as humanly possible." 

And the man on the phone isn't holding back his snickers as he types away, the clack of the keys feeding through the receiver. "Alrighty, and can you confirm your name for me, please?" 

Ignis laughs, quietly, of course, with his glasses pushed up and his hands over his face, but he's laughing. Prompto can tell by the shake in his shoulders and the soft noises that work their way between his fingers occassionally. 

"Prompto Argentum." Ignis laughs harder, knowing that whatever call center the gentleman on the phone is working at, he's probably filed Prompto's name away for future reference.

"Date of birth?"

"October twenty-fifth." 

"City you were born in?" 

"Insomnia." Prompto rattles off the answers to the security questions easily, until finally, finally he's able to set a new password. "Let's make it, uh... L-o-k-t-o-n-0-2-0-7-!. Is that a strong enough password?" 

"Let's see... yup. Alrighty, Mr. Argentum, you're all set." The guy hasn't stopped laughing the whole conversation and neither has Ignis and Prompto would like to implode right now, please, thank you very much! 

"Thanks." And he hangs up, and while he wants to chuck the phone across the room, he remembers that no, this is his new baby and he has to treat it better than the last one. God forbid the inside of the screen melt from an overheated battery again. "Ignis. I want you to know that I, like, _totally_ hate you right now." 

And his boyfriend pulls his hands away from his face finally, look at him with nothing but pure amusement in his eyes. "Now, why would you ever say such a thing?"

"Because! That was so embarrassing!" 

Ignis just shakes his head and gestures to the bowl of food on the coffee table. "I cannot believe you have the gall to be embarrassed about something that you've harbored for years. Gods, you probably listed it for job applications, didn't you? If anything, this ought to teach you a lesson, you know." 

"What, that I shouldn't let Noct make decisions for me?" 

"Precisely. Now, eat your dinner before it gets cold, dear." 

But a familiar tuft of blonde hair worms its way onto Ignis's shoulder instead. "I don't actually hate you, you know that right?" And Prompto is looking up at him with his big, violet eyes and his smattering of freckles and Ignis presses a tiny kiss to his nose. 

"Of course I know you don't hate me, darling." Ignis pauses. "Or rather, should I refer to you as 'fuckmyslutmouth'?" 

Prompto shoves one of the decorative pillows in Ignis's face mercilessly. He's grinning, despite himself. "All this! After I make your birthday my pin! After I buy you nice things for your birthday!" 

"I hardly think a 'one free hug' coupon suffices as a 'nice thing', though the _gesture_ was rather nice." Ignis comments. 

"And now! You're talking smack on my gift-giving abilities!" 

Ignis pets his hair to try and console him, though he's shaking from holding in laughter. "Now, now, there's no need to get so worked up, darling. Why don't you finish setting up your phone and we can put on a movie you enjoy?" 

Prompto side-eyes him for way too long before caving and pulling his phone out. 

Later, when Prompto is curled against Ignis's side and there's a movie playing quietly in the background, Ignis takes out his phone and opens their group chat with Noctis and Gladio, opening up the option to change a nickname. 

Prompto's phone buzzes in his hand and he checks the notification. 

"Ignis!" He yells, grabbing the pillow again. 

The screen reads, ' _Specs has changed Prompto's nickname to fuckmyslutmouth_ '. 


End file.
